It’s going to happen. It’s part of the first impression.
When you first talk to someone for the first time they are going to ask you the one question that everyone asks – What do you do?
The question is not just a good conversation piece but it’s also a way to figure out if you are someone they are looking for…if you fit their life and also how you react to you your own life. The way you respond to this question could make or break their interest in you.
I used to be guilty of screwing up the first impression response. I’ve had many jobs in my life so let’s just say I was working at a doggy daycare that was essentially exhausting work with rewards. I would answer the ‘What do you do? ’ question like this – «Oh, I clean up shit all day. I literally work my ass off cleaning up shit and catering to dogs.» Then I would go on to complain about the job and the headaches it came with and how little money I made for doing all the crappy work.
When I look back on this negative response it’s no wonder guys didn’t respond well to my first impression. I was complaining and negative and I really didn’t put myself in a good light. If I had been smarter I would have said «I work at a doggy daycare. It’s a great job where I get tons of exercise, first-hand insight into dog behavior, and rewarded with kisses all day. That response is much more enticing, don’t you think?
After some research I now know that there have been studies done on reactions to the first impression responses and what people are looking for from them. Basically there are three things that you will be telling the asker in your first impression through your words and actions.
1. Whether they could fall in love with you.
If you haven’t heard of love of love at first sight and lovemaps then you may want to check that out. Basically it means that there’s something about you that reminds them of something good from their past. Chances are if you are negative and whiny about yourself they you are not going to make a good first impression, and love at first sight is pretty much out the window! I mean who is going to fall in love with someone who reminds them of their whiny aunt or uncle?
2. Whether you are a confident and a passionate person
People are attracted to confidence. It’s been proven over and over again. People who are not conventionally good looking can still attract men or women by the masses if they have a high level of confidence. So if you are talking yourself down and making your life look pathetic in the first impression, then they are going to view you as not confident and a passionless person.
It’s better to make yourself look like you are right where you want to be, and as though you have many goals that you are working towards. Don’t put down anything that you do in your first impression because that shows that you are not putting any effort into your life and it’s direction. A confident person will go out and make things happen for themselves while an unsure person will sit around complaining without taking any action to move out of what they are complaining about.
3. Whether they want to talk to you anymore.
And of course if you spill out all your dirty laundry in the first impression and leave them nothing to look forward to from you then chances are they are not going to have much left to talk to you about.
You want to leave the conversation open with a piece of information that they will want to know more about. For instance, with the doggy daycare example I could have said that one of my goals in life was to open up a doggy daycare of my own so that I could run it the way I wanted it to be run. This not only would leave a conversation opening for how to open a doggy daycare, but also how I feel it should be run, and the challenges that come with opening the daycare, and – well, so many more who, what, when, where, and why questions.
The way I left the conversation before was at a dead end. I complained about my work, I told them how much I hated it, and I didn’t give any conversation bridge to what I wanted to do in life. Essentially I made myself a lovely dead end in my first impression.
So remember when it comes to making a good first impression be positive, charming, confident, passionate, and leave them a piece of conversation that will either keep the conversation going, or leave them wanting to know more about you.