A Startling Fact About Love At First Sight That Will Help You Understand What The Heck is Going On!
I see this question all the time! It’s asked by people themselves who have fallen for someone they don’t know AND by people who have crushes who have fallen for someone else THEY don’t know.
It doesn’t seem to make much sense when you first look at it, but actually there is a real good reason behind it.
It stems from early childhood – and it is caused from being subjected to some sort of emotional or instinctual response that reminds you of that childhood moment. Crazy right? But it’s true.
Something about that person has set off a chemical reaction that can’t be stopped! This is where instant attraction or ‘love at first sight’ comes in.
It may be something as simple as the way they walk, or it could be something like the perfume or cologne they are wearing sets off an emotional (positive) memory.
The trigger (the sound, smell, touch, or visual trigger) is something that has been lying dormant in our subconscious since childhood. Something in our early years has imprinted itself in our brain as good or bad when we were quite impressionable.
A term brought about sexologist DR.
John Money is used to describe this process. You’ve probably heard of it before. The term is ‘ Lovemap’.
Our lovemaps come from various pain or pleasure responses to our early years with family, friends, and other people in our lives. They literally hang out in our brains waiting to come out and strike when the right type of stimulus comes along!
Dr. Money said «Lovemaps. They’re as common as faces, bodies, and brains. Each of us has one. Without it there would be no falling in love, no mating, and no breeding of the species.» Money, John, PH. D. 1986. Lovemaps. New York: Irvington Publishers.
So possibly your favorite teacher wore a perfume that you have never forgotten, or your friend that you adored would smile a crooked smile that was completely unique. If you smell that smell or see that smile in a stranger it may automatically trigger that positive emotion, and therefore cause attraction towards them.
This also works for having instant negative reactions to various people through these triggers.
For instance if you were abused by a man who smelled of cigarettes you may be disgusted with people who smoke cigarettes.
If your mother was cheated on by your father you may become instantly upset when your mate looks at another women.
All of your experiences in life – good or bad – are sitting in your subconscious somewhere. Chances are they decide many things in your life, including who you are instantly attracted to!
Some people argue that instant attraction isn’t love.
And that may be so. But doesn’t love stem out of that feeling – If that attraction stays around long enough doesn’t it feel like love the whole way through?
I personally feel that ‘love at first sight’ and ‘attraction at first sight’ are pretty much the same thing.
If we follow the lovemap theory then essentially the emotions that spring up have the potential to be instant love.
We loved our mother who wore the perfume that sparked our instant attraction to that person – so is love not the feeling that sprung out? I think so.
But as far as the question of love at first sight goes…I think it’s pretty clear that it happens all around us everyday. We see it in ourselves, our friends, and even strangers – and now we know our lovemaps can be thanked for it!