You’re on a third date with a beautiful woman that you want to please sexually.
But everything starts to go downhill when you stumble through the first kiss while sitting on your couch. You bump noses and she pulls back holding her nose and laughing. You don’t get too discouraged and forge ahead. By the time the two of you are in bed, you’re a nervous wreck and ejaculate after engaging in intercourse for only thirty seconds. She seems okay with it, but you’re mortified. You never call her again.
Do you want to last longer in bed? Do you ejaculate before you’re able to please your partner? See the following tips to lasting longer in bed and increase sexual satisfaction for you and your partner.
Take deep breaths. Some people hold their breath during sex, especially if they believe they’re going to have an orgasm. Don’t hold your breath. If you take deep breaths, you’ll be more in control of the situation.
Relax. This is easier to say than to do, but attempt to relax. You should practice relaxing during times that you aren’t under stress. Practice yoga or meditation on a regular basis and apply those techniques during sexual intercourse.
Wear a condom. You should practice safe sex on a regular basis to reduce your chances of contracting a sexually transmitted disease, but wearing a condom will also help with premature ejaculation. A condom will desensitize the area which will allow you to last longer.
Masturbate. If you know that you’re going to have sexual intercourse that day, masturbate beforehand. If you haven’t engaged in sex in a long time, this is even more important to do. Also, masturbating on a regular basis will teach you about your body and stimulation. Practice bringing yourself to the point of ejaculation and bringing yourself back down. Rehearse using deep breaths and relaxation techniques.
Focus on pleasure. Don’t focus on the way sex looks or your sexual performance. Enjoy sexual stimulation and focus on the way that the sexual intercourse feels. How can you enjoy sex if you’re constantly worried about ejaculating?
Become used to keeping yourself aroused for longer periods of time. One good way to do this is practice staying aroused during masturbation.
Take your mind off of the situation. If you’re becoming highly aroused, try to focus on something boring. Think about baseball, count backwards from one-hundred, or go over your grocery list. When you’re able to decrease your pleasure, return your focus to the intercourse.
Commit to work on the problem.
Not being able to please your partner is an issue. Your partner needs to know that you are committed to making changes and working on the issues. If you don’t work towards satisfying your partner, the relationship will become strained.
Change positions. If you’re having sex and feel yourself becoming too aroused, suggest that you change positions. This will give you a moment to catch your breath and keep going.
Foreplay. Attempt to stimulate your partner through foreplay before engaging in intercourse. This will show that you care about satisfying your partner and will take your mind off of your needs at the moment. Concentrate all of your attention on your partner during foreplay, and show her that she is irresistible.
Move in circular motions. Instead of stimulating the tip of your penis by thrusting, move in circular motions. This will please your partner and give you the chance to get control of the situation.
Stop. If you feel that you’re going to ejaculate, pull your penis out and wait until you feel ready to start again. In the meantime, return to pleasing your partner with your other body parts such as hands and tongue.
If you feel like you need more advice or help than what is listed above, seek the advice of your primary care physician or talk to a psychotherapist. Premature ejaculation can be caused by depression or anxiety.
If you have symptoms of depression such as feeling sad and hopeless, interruptions in sleep and eating habits, crying for no apparent reason, and irritability, then this could be affecting your sexual performance. A psychotherapist can help treat the depression which would decrease the issues with sexual performance.
Symptoms of anxiety include constant fear and worrying, restlessness, irritability, nausea, sweating, difficulty concentrating, and headaches. If you suffer from these symptoms, you should see a therapist to treat the underlying issues. This will improve your level of happiness as well as your performance in the bedroom.
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