You see, a lot of guys aren’t that good with their ability to attract women. And those guys aren’t very happy by this. Some of those very same guys, go and learn pick-up, in order to be able to attract women. However, there is something not many talk about. A lot of those guys, after already have learned to attract women, aren’t very happy overall. Which was their desire on the first place!
A friend of mine had recently troubles with a girl, which he felt for. This got me thinking on something worth sharing.
The default pick-up studies, advice to keep yourself as you are the prize. To treat the girl as your little bratty sister, tease the heck out of her, push and pull tactics, make her jealous, giving her the gift of missing you, acting if you don’t care (because you have tons of other options) and so on. You see the trend here?
Yet, giving the nature of majority of us, humans, this will work, but ONLY if we don’t like the girl that much. If we like the girl, it will make no sense to do all the above mentioned pick-up tactics, because it won’t even feel natural. Many of you probably learned that the hard way. If we meet a girl we really like a lot and we try to do the ‘pick-up routines’, it’s like doing in on purpose. Requires a lot of effort and it’s … it’s fake. At the end, even if we attract the girl, it’s by the fake persona.
Who is she really attracted to?
Our genuine selves or that fake pick-up modification of us?
Who do we really want her to be attracted to? Knowing it is you, yourself, or that little dread feeling it wasn’t you at all.
I can bet there isn’t a single man out there, that felt for a woman and didn’t struggle trying to keep the default pick-up decks. The worst part? He did keep up the pick-up, he struggled doing it so and at the very end, he messed up bad, losing the girl. He kept attracting girls he doesn’t like the same way, he liked her.
Of course, I’m not talking about giving the mushy-washy wussy either. There is a masculine way to care about someone, without the need of “negging them” or “not calling them for 6 days”. That is topic for another post.
Next time something like this happens, keep this knowledge in mind. Just admit to yourself you care about that particular person and it will eliminate a lot of that struggling, between being that uber cool seducer and your genuine self.
At the end, you either do care about someone, or you don’t. You can care and act like you don’t, but it will be only an act.